No Doubt

"Hollaback Girl" having earned Gwen Stefani her place in the ark, I have recently been entertaining the dangerous thought that maybe No Doubt weren't that bad after all. So let's listen to The Singles 1992-2003 and find out.

"Just a Girl"

See, she's just a girl, but she's singing "I'm just a girl". Oh irony. (presses skip button)

"It's My Life"

Whoa, this one has a tune. Oh wait, it's a cover.

"Hey Baby"

This kicked off their critical rehabilitation. Playing the observer means Gwen turns down the affect, thank Jah. Bounty Killer's phoned-in bit adds a lot.

"Bathwater"

"'Cause I still love to wash in your old bathwater" -- okay. More interesting, "Why do the good girls always want the bad boys?" You're a good girl? Gavin's a bad boy?

"Sunday Morning"

Catchy, but it's from Tragic Kingdom, so Gwen wrecks it.

"Hella Good"

Amazing what a producer can do for a song.

"New"

"Oh you're different, you're different from the former." Hmmn, what's she going to rhyme with "former"? "Like a fresh battery, I'm energised by you". Botched simile alert! It should've been "I'm energised by you like you're a transformer." No wait, I hate repeated-word rhymes. "You set me on fire like a vegetable korma"? No, kormas aren't that spicy. OK, songwriting is hard, but still... (skips)

"Underneath It All"

Skankin'. See, she's not a bad singer when she's not trying to sing badly. But you think they told the guest toasters "sing clearly now, we want the kids to be able to make out the words"?

"Excuse Me Mr."

So is this about Gwen going to hire an escort, or is OH MY GOD that is the worst fake honky-tonk I've ever heard. (skips)

"Running"

Just because the ballads aren't embarrassing anymore doesn't mean they're any good. (skips)

"Spiderwebs"

This is the best song on Tragic Kingdom because (1) it doesn't paint over the plastic, and (2) it's aimed at six-year-olds. Gwen's self-harmonisation in the bridge is actually pretty good.

"Simple Kind of Life"

Poor Gwennie, feeling guilty about being a multi-millionaire. I wish she had a river she could skate away on. Well at least she's trying to say something, not skipping this one -- don't want to hurt her feelings.

"Don't Speak"

This is recognised as some sort of classic now, proof that hindsight isn't 20/20. Fuck her feelings. (skips)

"Ex-Girlfriend"

See Gwen, all you have to do is sing or rap (i.e. talk) in your lower register. Unless you're singing "this shit is bananas", then you can whine as girlily as you want.

"Trapped in a Box"

Unfortunately they got out. OK I'm sorry. (stops record)

B MINUS